Lonely House

I pass this house every Tuesday and Friday on my way to work.  I have known this house as far back as I can remember.  It is in a curve on a backroad where there are no other houses, down in a low spot a short walk from a wonderful creek.  I always considered it creepy.  Now that I've aged a little, it no longer creeps me out, but rather saddens me.  This house deserves love, care, and a family to use it.  But now it's far beyond repair, destined to become a heap on the ground when a good stiff wind hits just right. 

Things like this make me so curious: why did this house get abandoned?  Did the owners have to foreclose; was the owner an elderly individual who had to move to a nursing home?  Why would a perfectly good house become forgotten and abandoned?

Which brings me to a thought I've been rolling around in the empty space above my shoulders;)-- Why do I allow myself to become lonely?  I find myself wanting to call somebody up to go for lunch, but then can't decide who might want to go.  I have many acquaintances, but few FRIENDS.  Women I could call and know would drop whatever they are doing to let me cry on a shoulder.  Women who can help figure out a problem or give advice when my kids or husband frustrate me.

A few years ago, I made a decision that I would no longer continue to push a friendship where I was the only one doing the "work".  I felt it was unhealthy. . . and it was.  So, I was very lonely for a while; until one day I broke down in my prayer with the realization that I was not allowing God to be my bestie.  It was a lighning bolt!  I shared this info with 2 friends who had made the commitment to praying with and for each other daily.  I began to realize I was minimizing how people felt compared to what they were able to do or how much time they were able to pour into a relationship.  And that's what it is--a relationship where perhaps me being the "giver" was exactly what God would have wanted me to have.  Both for my good and for the other's. 

Ever since this lighning bolt I have realized that, like this abandoned house, it may be up to ME to grow, nurture, love, and fix problems with the people in my life that I desire relationships with.  A little at a time, or a whole overhaul could be in store, but that most of the people I have chosen to be friends with deserve my all.

Why did it take so long to figure this out?