My heart just hurts. Yesterday morning I got the worst kind of phone call you can get. My stepbrother, 25 years old, had died. He was senselessly killed by a hit and run driver. We can only cling to the knowledge that he died instantly...there was no pain, no knowledge of impending death. That doesn't make it easier, but does give a little comfort.
My stepfather has his unconsolable moments. Moments where the tragedy of it all comes flooding back, moments where you can't help but wonder, "What if?" We are a family wracked with grief. This young man had a heart of gold...made some mistakes, but was on the road to cleaving with our Lord. I'm told that in the two weeks prior to his death, he was hardly ever seen not reading his bible. He was a saved soul, and for that I will be eternally grateful.
My husband is down in NC dealing with the aftermath of his sister's death, and our little family had just started to feel like things had calmed down a bit from that and our dog's death. But God shook it up again. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Him. I just can't fathom having the strength to deal with all this. I was exhausted before...I don't even know what to call what I'm feeling now.
I believe death is not the end, so I can rest my hope peacefully in the knowledge that I will one day again see my beloveds...but I'm still a heart-broken wreck.
Please hold your loved ones tight, and tell everyone just how much you love them-because you never know when you won't have that opportunity again.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
One day, Two deaths
Where do I begin? The death of my 44-year-old sister-in-law has rocked our family to the core. She was my husband's only living sibling. She was bipolar and an alcoholic, so she was not always easy to deal with. But when she was sober she was a wonderful woman. She was always bringing the kids all kinds of things they would enjoy. And man, what a cook! The memories of the good times will live forever in my mind:)
His parents have both passed away as well as his grandparents and uncle. He keeps losing family members...gonna have to talk to God about this.
This happened the same day our dog died. He was old (almost 10) and had a tumor on his leg-we assumed he probably had one inside as well. We feel grateful that he did not suffer and was not in pain in the days before his death. He was the greatest dog anyone could ever ask for. I remember when my son was a toddler and would yank on his ears and lips (he was a Boxer), and Tiger would just calmly let him. When he got fed up, he just walked away. Never growled or snapped. In fact, he would wrap his lips around his teeth when he would "bite" while play fighting. Great dog.
One bright spot of my week: I got a job! I am now the communications controller--aka receptionist--at Adams & Garth. Staffing Solutions is what we do. The phone is constantly ringing, people are always in and out filling out paperwork and doing interviews. I have to make appts and call new applicants. It is so busy that I have to make sure I watch the clock for 3:00 so I don't end up there till 5:00!
I'm so grateful for the distraction work has provided from all this grief. I am just praying for uneventful days..and I'll try to remember to be grateful for boring days in the future.
His parents have both passed away as well as his grandparents and uncle. He keeps losing family members...gonna have to talk to God about this.
This happened the same day our dog died. He was old (almost 10) and had a tumor on his leg-we assumed he probably had one inside as well. We feel grateful that he did not suffer and was not in pain in the days before his death. He was the greatest dog anyone could ever ask for. I remember when my son was a toddler and would yank on his ears and lips (he was a Boxer), and Tiger would just calmly let him. When he got fed up, he just walked away. Never growled or snapped. In fact, he would wrap his lips around his teeth when he would "bite" while play fighting. Great dog.
One bright spot of my week: I got a job! I am now the communications controller--aka receptionist--at Adams & Garth. Staffing Solutions is what we do. The phone is constantly ringing, people are always in and out filling out paperwork and doing interviews. I have to make appts and call new applicants. It is so busy that I have to make sure I watch the clock for 3:00 so I don't end up there till 5:00!
I'm so grateful for the distraction work has provided from all this grief. I am just praying for uneventful days..and I'll try to remember to be grateful for boring days in the future.
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