Sunday, October 16, 2011

Broken By Death

My heart just hurts.  Yesterday morning I got the worst kind of phone call you can get.  My stepbrother, 25 years old, had died.  He was senselessly killed by a hit and run driver.  We can only cling to the knowledge that he died instantly...there was no pain, no knowledge of impending death.  That doesn't make it easier, but does give a little comfort.

My stepfather has his unconsolable moments.  Moments where the tragedy of it all comes flooding back, moments where you can't help but wonder, "What if?"  We are a family wracked with grief.  This young man had a heart of gold...made some mistakes, but was on the road to cleaving with our Lord.  I'm told that in the two weeks prior to his death, he was hardly ever seen not reading his bible.  He was a saved soul, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

My husband is down in NC dealing with the aftermath of his sister's death, and our little family had just started to feel like things had calmed down a bit from that and our dog's death.  But God shook it up again.  Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Him.  I just can't fathom having the strength to deal with all this.  I was exhausted before...I don't even know what to call what I'm feeling now. 

I believe death is not the end, so I can rest my hope peacefully in the knowledge that I will one day again see my beloveds...but I'm still a heart-broken wreck. 

Please hold your loved ones tight, and tell everyone just how much you love them-because you never know when you won't have that opportunity again. 


  1. Ben was an amazing soul and so honest! We spoke a lot about religion and his beliefs and he was strong in them. I believe GOD knew he was having a hard time here and wanted him to do so much more up there. He has a greater purpose! I will miss his smile and sweet heart but know I will see him again one day!

  2. Lisa
    My heart is in pain for all that you all have been going through. Today at church the sermon was on Paul and how he could face such horrific cicumstances and yet still praise God. Paul talked about in 2 Corth having the end always in mind. The world watching to see how we handle life, problem,trial, loss you name it. They want to see if being a Christan a follower of Christ really works. In these tuff time know that God will sustain you Lisa, He is your Rock, He is your Comforter. I can't imgain but God can may you find comfort in knowing that you are loved and being prayed for as well as the whole family. This was brought up at chruch today not thinking this was your step brother. If there is anything we can do for you for the family please let us know how we can help.
    Love you
    Lorena ,3

  3. praying for you during this time, I'll add you to my running prayer list :)